Blamey's Twelve Days of Christmas

Here's my special Christmas Countdown for fellow bah humbuggers out there who couldn't give a figgy pudding about Christmas yet either:

1. The number of annoying, smug-fest adverts excreted by John Lewis (whose wet warbley soundtrack is bound to be the Christmas number one) which features a boy counting the minutes to give his present to his mum and dad.  

As Charlie Brooker put it, what you're actually watching is the awakening of psychopath-in-training and that the box actually contains the head of the family dog. 

2. The number of times your children will alert you to the fact that they have located, played with and got bored of, their presents.

3. The number of times you will go to M&S to try to buy a Christmas pudding, only to find they've been snaffled by pigeon faced pensioners and men wearing mustard cords.  

4. The number of glasses of pinot noir you will need to inhale before you stumble over to your neighbour's 'turkey and tinsel' evening.

5. The number of heavy sighs you will make before reminding your other half again when the kiddleywinks nativity is.

6. The number of pairs of scissors you did have but can't find, leaving you to cut selotape with your teeth or gardening secateurs.

7. The number of times you will utter "I knew we should have had Christmas to ourselves this year" whilst fidgeting at your in-laws because Elf is on and everyone else wants to watch Downton Abbey.

8. The number of times you will need to replenish the bottles of Cava you have stashed in the garage for Christmas Day, before Christmas Day.

9. The number of extra pounds you will acquire from hoovering up  Cadbury's Roses like a chocolate scoffing magpie. Step away from the tin Cakey Price.

10. The number of times you will regret insisting on a real tree ('because it smells Christmassy'), when you find a special present from the cat in its pot and are still tweezering pine needles from your feet at Easter.  

11. The number of times you wake up in the night doubting whether you actually turned the Christmas tree light off.  Wait, I'm sure...is that burning I can smell...?

12. The number of laughs you will have by asking anyone under the age of five to slap their cheeks and pull the face of Macualey Culkin in the Home Alone poster.

So, did I miss any?  Please feel free to add your christmas crackers below.












 

Show me the funny

Funny is good, funny is memorable, funny sticks, funny makes money.

In the same way you’re not going to tell someone about that coach journey where you remembered your ticket, found your seat, sat facing forward for a bit before arriving at your correct destination,  you'll dine-out for weeks on that National Express journey, where a man (smelling suspiciously of Zoflora) projectile vomited over the teenager reading the NME before nonchalantly pulling out a cigarette and asking the coach driver if he 'had a light?'. 

The same is for copywriting. 

Of course you can deliver the reader safely from A to B, serving up salient key points and tit bits of information along the way, before directing them to C – a shuttle bus to the appropriate website. 

Or, you can take them Dukes of Hazzard style.

Blazing a trail through your content, narrowly avoiding haystacks, before throwing them, hungry for more, at the dusty boots of Daisy Duke. 

Of course it depends on who you’re writing for. The above technique doesn’t necessarily apply to Saga Magazine.

'Punny' Funny

As copywriters we're happy to litter our work with puns, the gentlest form of comedy, which allows your audience to ‘muh-huh’ inwardly.  But to go all out funny requires the talent and courage to stick to your wit.

But if you can do it, do it. 

Why funny is good

Funny is memorable

 

Funny ads and virals stick in everyone's mind. 

However, you want people to remember what you are marketing, whether it is you, a product, service or idea.   

For example, how often have you had this conversation?

“Have you seen that advert? You know, the one where the man is dressed up like a big moth, and he goes to a buy a tent, and his hair’s all funny and...Oh, you remember, he’s a big fat moth...”

“No. What’s it for?”

“I can’t remember. A car I think.”

When recalling your copy, will your audience remember what is being promoted?   

Big brands, like Cadbury for example, can afford to go ‘off-road funny’, as proved with their series of adverts featuring drumming gorillas and dancing dry cleaning. However, as a copywriter don’t upstage who or what you are promoting.

Ideally the funny should be the ketchup on the banger, not the banger itself.   

Funny sells

Funny is a powerful weapon when it comes to raising interest and increasing sales.  

In the same way children are drawn to anything with a smiley face, humour breaks down barriers and makes a warm, fuzzy connection with your users. 

Funny spreads

The only thing that garners a response quicker than a Facebook update saying ‘OMG! I just found out my DNA test results!’ is a funny status update.

We all know that social media is the font at which pretty much all forward thinking companies and individuals worship, and nothing will put you on the social media map quicker than consistently witty updates. 

So, if you want to be taken seriously, put your money in funny.